Meet Lance.

I was going to write one of those clever adoption bios full of witty observations, heartfelt metaphors and carefully crafted cat puns. Then I met Lance and realized I’d just be wasting everyone’s time.

Look at him. He’s ridiculously handsome. He’s friendly. He’s curious. He has those giant golden eyes that practically come with their own “Adopt Me” button. By the time you finish reading this sentence, someone else has probably already asked about him.

So here’s the entire sales pitch:

Lance is an excellent cat. He will almost certainly charm every person who walks past his condo. If you’re thinking about meeting him, I’d recommend walking a little faster because I have a strong suspicion this biography will outlive his stay at the shelter.

Congratulations in advance to whoever adopts Lance. The rest of us will just pretend we weren’t already planning to.